The other day I was watching a anime called haikyuu! It’s a series revolving a high school volleyball team that used to be a power house school, but they fell of when their coach retired. In this specific episode they were having there debut game in the winter school tournament and the old coach came to watch the game. While they were playing he said something interesting. He said that the team was very skilled, but they were used
When he said that it really got me to think about it.Sometimes we got everything we need to achieve or goals. We got the knowledge, the skills and even the drive, but for some reason we always keep losing. We are as the coach said used to losing.
Think of every action you take as a part of a spiraling motion. When you succeed in something you go in a upwards spiral and when you fail you go in a downwards spiral.This is what I think happens when you are used to losing. You are basicaly trapped in a negative spiral.
This can effect you in many ways. An example could be that thoughts come in to your mind like ‘Why should I even try again?’. Before you get these kind of thoughts you need to snap yourself out of it. The deeper you are in the negative spiral the harder this is to do, but it’s not impossible.
Traditional self-help would say try to get small wins in other areas in your life and you will gain confidence that will transfer to the area of your life you have difficulty with. After being in enough netgative spirals myself I call this bullshit! Yes, getting small wins will give you confidence, but most of the time it will be situational confidence in the area you got the win in. So instead of fleeing to a different area of you life in which in most case you are already pretty sufficient start gaining small wins in the same area you suck.
Never re-activaly wait for something to happen by tackling other areas in your life. Small chunk the area you find difficult and pro-activaly make something happen.